


Who's to Blame?

by Iris_H11



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:26:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29883852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iris_H11/pseuds/Iris_H11
Summary: “We need to talk,”“Do we?” was the response.“Yes” She said as more of a question than a statement. Percy bit his lip and shook his head at the floor.“What is there to talk about Vex?” His eyes pierced hers, “Really? What could either of us say that would make this any better?”Percy and Vex get into a fight and Vex says something she can't take back.
Relationships: Percival "Percy" Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III/Vex'ahlia, Scanlan Shorthalt/Pike Trickfoot
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter 1

Today had not been the day to get into a fight. Pike and Scanlan were on their way to Whitestone and Keyleth and Grog were due to arrive tomorrow. They were going to have a family dinner. No particular special occasion, they just all missed each other and Pike had insisted that they should all see each other as often as possible. But whether it was the stress of having guests or just Vex’s generally fragile nature these recent weeks, the fight occurred. This wasn’t Percy and Vex’s first fight by any means but this one had gotten particularly vicious. But it had all gone quiet when Vex said something she didn’t think she could ever take back. As soon as the words left her lips she saw the change in Percy. He stiffened and went stoney quiet. They stared at each other for a moment, both shocked that she would say something like that and then he just turned and walked away. 

That had been several hours ago. Vex had been pacing the parlor hoping he would come back or willing herself to have enough courage to go talk to him. It had been a truly horrible thing to say. It had come from somewhere deep and dark within her. The thought of it made her cry again. She had been crying on and off all day. Crying about the fight, about Vax, about everything. She was so sad and angry all the time now and she took it out on Percy. She knew it wasn’t fair but he was so patient with her in her grief. 

But this time. This time she had gone too far. 

Vex made her way down to Percy's workshop. She could hear him banging at the forge halfway across the castle. As she approached she could see the door slightly open and Percy facing away working on some new project. She knocked softly on the door frame and said his name quietly. The clanging was so loud she wasn't sure he had heard her. 

“Percy?” She said again louder. Percy’s hammering got more intense as he put more force behind each blow. Vex knew that he had heard her and was trying to drown her out. 

“Percival!” there was more anger in her voice than she expected. In a flash Percy turned to face her. A sting of anger and hurt in his eyes that caused her to step onto her back foot. With a shaky deep breath Percy put down his tools and fully turned to face Vex. He crossed his arms and remained silent. The anger in his eyes dimmed but the hurt unwavering. Vex stepped trepidatiously into the room, arms folded in front of herself. 

“We need to talk,” she said in little more than a whisper. 

“Do we?” was the response. Vex’s heart tightened and she could feel the lump in the back of her through threatening to make her cry. 

“Yes” She said as more of a question than a statement. Percy bit his lip and shook his head at the floor. 

“What is there to talk about Vex?” His eyes pierced hers, “Really? What could either of us say that would make this any better?” Vex faltered. 

“I…I love you Vex’ahlia. More than… More than my whole being, I love you. And because I love you, HOW can I make you stand in the same room as me. Let alone share a meal and a bed, share a life with a person you hate so much” 

Vex moved quickly across the room to Percy and put her hand on his arm. She looked at him with wide earnest eyes trying to convince him. The tears were flowing now and she had no way to stop them.

“I don’t hate you. I could never hate you.” 

“Really?” he moved out from her grip, “You don’t hate the man who took your brother from you? Who made it so you could never see the most important person in the world to you again? You don’t hate that person? Because I do.” 

Vex couldn’t see a way though this conversation and she was starting to panic. After a moment of silence Percy turned away from her and put both hands on his work bench and hung his head. Vex sat down on one of the stools in the workshop. 

“Percy. I’m so sorry. I was angry and hurt and it's all still so new for me. I didn’t mean it.”

“Yes you did.” the swiftness of his reaction startled Vex. “You did. You meant that. Maybe not all of you. Maybe not all the time. But  _ some  _ part of you thinks I am to blame. That it is my fault Vax is gone.” For a brief second they just stared at each other. She didn’t want it to be true but it was. If Percy had just waited 20 more seconds in the damn tomb so that she could check for traps, Vax wouldn’t have offered his soul to the Raven Queen in exchange for hers and maybe he would still be here. She hated herself for thinking it. But she did. Sometimes. 

“And I can’t, Vex. I can’t stand hurting you.”

“No.” Vex stood up. She held Percy’s arms at his side and tried to get him to look at her. “No. Not you. Never you.” Percy took her hands off of his arms and held them together between them. His hands were shaking. He kissed her hands softly and said

“I’m sorry Vex’ahlia” He dropped her hands and walked out of the workshop with tears in his eyes. Vex called out after him but when she tried to follow him her legs gave out from under her. She collapsed to the floor sobbing. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gnomes make everything better

Scanland and Pike entered through the magnificent doors of Whitestone Castle. They had just arrived and were looking around for any of their friends, particularly the Lord and Lady of the house. Suddenly from around the corner Percy came storming through the entry hall. He was breathing heavily and Pike thought she could see tears rolling down his face. Without so much as a hello, he passed by the gnomes, hurrying out the doors and down the entry stairs. Pike looked to Scanlan with concern. 

“I guess we walked into something.” Scanlan said with a shrug. He tried to play it off but he too was concerned. Percy was rarely flustered and never had Scanlan seen him let his emotions overtake his crusty aristocratic manners. The gnomes eyed each other again. 

“You better go after him,” Scanland said to Pike. 

“And you should look for Vex” Scanlan nodded and headed in the direction where Percy had come from. 

Pike followed Percy out the front steps of the castle. It was a warm evening and the sun was just beginning to set over the town. At a quick glance Pike couldn’t see where Percy had gone to. His long human legs could get much further than her short gnomish ones. But she knew Percy and if he was upset there were only a few places in Whitestone he would go. She figured he wouldn’t want anyone to see him crying so that ruled out any of the taverns and anywhere too public. First Pike checked the gardens. Percy was proud of the gardens. He had worked hard to bring them back to life after the Briarwoods experiments had sucked the life out of them. After a few minutes of walking however there was no sign of Percy. Pike began to worry. It would be dark soon and though she trusted Percy could take care of himself she would prefer everyone be safe and together. Pike had one last idea so she headed into town. 

Pike stood in front of the temple to the Raven Queen. Percy had it built for Vax and now it stood as a memorial to him and a place where they all went when they wanted to talk to him. Pike carefully pushed open the door and walked into the cold building. Percy was sitting in a little pew at the front of the temple. 

She walked to the front as quietly as she could. Stealth had never been one of Pikes strong suits but Percy didn’t react to her presence at all. She sat down next to him. Now that she was close she could see the tears still trickling down his face. 

“Hi Percy.” 

“Hello Pike” His voice sounded tired and rough like he had been crying for a while. 

“Percy whats wrong?” 

His head began to shake slowly almost imperceptibly from side to side. He didn’t take his eyes off the altar at the front of the temple. 

“It is my fault” 

“What’s you fault” 

“I started it all. If I had just waited- If I had waited for Vex- He’d still be here”

“Are you talking about Vax?” Pike was beginning to put together what must have happened and why they were now sitting in the cold dark temple instead of the warm parlor at Whitestone Castle.

“Percy.” There was that tone of authority in Pike’s voice that always made people listen. He finally broke his state and turned to meet her eyes. 

“It is not your fault. Vax made his choice. You honor him by respecting that choice. Besides, you can’t go back and try to reason chain of events. Because without the Raven Queen, who knows if we would have been able to defeat Vecna. Who knows if we would have been able to defeat Thordak? Or Vorugal? Or do any of the things we did while we had him?” Pike turned to look at the small altar. “She's the goddess of Fate, Percy.” Percy let out a short sigh and hung his head.

“It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if it’s true if Vex believes it. I can’t stay here and make her see me every day. I can’t be the reason she’s in pain.”

“Percy, you are so smart. But sometimes you’re also really stupid.”

This shocked percy enough to snap him out of whatever thought spiral he was falling down. He stared at Pike. 

“Do you think leaving is going to make anything better? You think losing another person is what Vex needs right now? Percy. You being here is not the reason she’s in pain. She’s in pain and you’re here. You’re the only reason she's doing as well as she is in all this. She needs you.” 

Percy looked from Pikes warm eyes to the porcelain visage of the Raven Queen staring at him from the altar. Then in with quick movements he stood up and faced the exit. 

“Thank You Pike.” He gave her a nod and left the temple. 

Pike stayed behind and looked up at the ceiling. 

“We all miss you so much Vax. I should get back to the castle. I hope Scanlan found Vex. Talk to you later Stingbean” 

  
  


It wasn’t difficult to deduce where Percy had stormed off from. The hallway leads pretty much only to a few storage rooms and Percy's workshop. As Scanlan approached the door he heard sobs from the other side. Several emotions flashed through Scanlan at once. Worry about Vex, Anger at Percy for leaving her like this, confusion about what could have led to this, and just a twinge of smugness that he was going to be the one to put it all together again. 

“Vex?” He said it softly trying not to startle her as he pushed the door open. She was sitting with her back to the far wall, knees to her chest and head buried in her arms. Her head raised when she heard him come in. Scanlan’s heart constricted at the sight of her. Hair disheveled, eyes and nose red, looking totally dejected. 

“Oh!” She started to wipe her eyes and stand up, “I didn’t realize you and Pike had arrived. I’m sorry we weren’t there to…” 

“Vex stop.” Scanlan cut her off. She was trying to deflect in the hopes of not having to talk about why she was on the floor crying as her husband walked fully out of the castle. But there was no way that was going to happen. She let out a few more sobs as she tried to catch her breath. 

“Vex what the hell is going on. We just saw Percy and…” The mention of Percy caused Vex to lose the little composure she has managed to gain. 

“Oh dear, it is bad then isn’t it?”

“He’s gone, Scanlan. He left and I don’t think he’s coming back.”

“That’s ridiculous. You’re being stupid Vex. Percy loves you. He’s not going to leave you.” Even as Scanlan said the words, the image of Percy walking out of the castle crying made him doubt that what he was saying was true. 

“No, he’s not coming back. I ruined everything.” Scanlan made small circles with his hand on Vex’s back trying to calm her down. He still had no idea what had gone on between the two of them but he just couldn’t believe that Percival de Rolo would leave Vex’ahlia. Not ever. And especially not now. 

“Vex, tell me what happened. I’m sure it's not as bleak as it seems right now. After everything that’s happened there has to be a way though this too.”

Vex took a few deep breaths and began to explain everything to Scanlan. Of all of the members of Vox Machina, Vex had never felt the need to justify anything to Scanlan. They understood each other in a way the others didn’t. So she just told him. She told him everything she had been thinking and feeling and feeling horrible for thinking and feeling. And he just sat beside her and listened. And when she was done he stood up and faced her directly. 

“Well. That sounds pretty bad.”

“That's what you’re going to say? I tell you all of that and you say it sounds pretty bad?!”

“Yep” Vex was so surprised that she actually stopped crying. “It’s pretty bad. So I guess you should just give up.” He brushed his hands together and began to turn towards the door. Vex reached out and grabbed his arm. 

“Are you insane? Are you on Spice? I’m not just going to give up on Percy. I love him and nothing is ever going to get in the way of that. And if you think that after everything we have been though, THIS is whats going to separate us than you really are as stupid as you look Scanlan!” She stood up and rushed out the door leaving Scanlan alone in the workshop. 

“Well, what do I know, I guess.” He smiled to himself.

Percy ran through the streets of Whitestone and up the path towards the castle. He had put one foot on the steps to the main entrance when he stopped dead in his tracks. Vex stood frozen at the top of the stairs. She had come sprinting through the doors and had stopped short at the sight of him. They stood there for an eternal moment. Him looking up at her and her looking down at him. Percy opened his mouth as if to speak but when nothing came out he closed it again. Vex felt her tears threatening to spring up again as she looked down at him. He had clearly been crying. His eyes were read and his hair was a mess. 

“Oh Percy.” She descended the stairs in short quick steps. Whatever hold person spell broken, Percy ran to meet her taking two steps at a time. They collided in the middle. Percy one step below Vex making him temporarily shorter than her. Both of them began spewing apologies and promises. The words all overlapping and none of them intelligible. Finally Percy buried his head into Vex’s shoulder and she held him there as tightly as she could. She would never let him go. 


End file.
